The stories, however, are not real; they are just your versions of events, which are based on how you feel at any given moment — they are how you interpret your history. So for me, ironically, I became more passionate about my work and less guilty about it. That’s exactly what my life looked like. Sitting in the uncomfortable space we all try to avoid, Brené asks the questions we run from: What makes us feel shame? Good bye 2017, the year when… I had Wholeheartedness as my intention, something I’ve blogged about on a monthly basis since. Bringing genuine merit right to the fore. Exhaustion. I can’t call them ‘the people who engage with the world from a place of worthiness’ because that’s not very catchy! I was coding data and I was looking at all these words and these phrases and these incidents that were re-emerging and re-emerging and re-emerging, and I started listing them on big poster-sized post-it notes all over my house. This article has been edited and condensed from a previous version published by Dumbo Feather. People die in its wake. You do such meaningful work that traverses science and the unquantifiable realms of the heart and soul. griff / ɡrɪf / noun. What were their main concerns and how did they resolve or address them? Understanding vulnerability does not make you someone who can hold space for vulnerability. Your entire life only happens in this moment. Otherwise, we’ll reach for what’s easier: snap reactions rooted in fear and old patterns of behavior. In her book The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, Dr. Brené Brown says: Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. We extend metta not just to those who please us but to all beings, no matter how we feel about their actions. You did all of this as a mother. After the 2019 attacks on a mosque in Christchurch, New Zealand, where fifty people were killed and many more injured, members of a Zen center in the town of Nelson on the South Island read the following prayer at a memorial. How, as a mother, did you go from living with one paradigm to having a breakdown of that paradigm and finding a new one? Oxytocin — the “love hormone” — was in the air, and the spirit of goodwill was everywhere. It conjures up heartful images of unconditional support, acceptance, and caring between two people who are themselves whole. Boundaries. It is human to want to belong. With true belonging, it doesn’t matter if you leave or if you don’t want to be a part of it anymore, you are. When I started seeing all these concepts emerge I’m like, where do these come from? Or to use a quote I recently saw in a cartoon of a woman in a yoga position: “I meditate, I do yoga, I garden and drink green tea, and still I want to smack some people.”, Before we can talk about what wholehearted love is, we need to understand what wholeheartedness itself is. “Wholehearted living is about engaging with our lives from a place of worthiness. Belonging comes when we risk being known. To accept others and views that are not the same as yours may … 142 notes. There are two axioms for grounded theory … ‘everything is data’ and ‘trust and emergence’. But they emerged from data. What Works For Me: What Do I Really Want More? And those stories become malignant and they metastasize and they eat us alive. It Treats Everyone Equally, Everything We Do Is A Choice: Being Aware of Our Choices. Wholeheartedness is not a secret feeling any more than faith is. He said when he thinks about what is happening to his body (and his life), he panics and quickly becomes fearful and distressed. It’ll emerge. I still have a profound respect for science and research, but there’s something … my call to do this work is different now. I’m frantically texting my daughter saying, ‘Back door open, take dog out, start homework immediately!’ We can do it all, we just can’t do it all at the same time. Phew. We fall apart. Organizational culture refers to the system of values, beliefs, and behaviors that shapes how work gets done within an organization. I thought I could give them a joy and a love of being creative through really being creative. … For women it’s be everything to everyone and happy while you’re doing it. Slowly exhale as you return to your original position. I’ve been doing this work too long. Lift your head last. Wholeness does not mean perfection:it means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life. In a culture of belonging, that means an environment that supports all three elements of comfort, connection, and contribution. Oh yeah. It only needs three things to survive in this little Petri dish and actually to grow exponentially and creep into every corner and crevice of your life—and that is secrecy, silence and judgement. One of the things that’s very important in Grounded Theory is that when you identify a category that helps explain a basic social process, you name it with something that’s powerful, accurate and resonates deeply with people. I focus on a question that I want the answer to, and I sit down across from people and conduct long interviews or in focus groups. I honestly thought that I could give Ellen and Charlie what I didn’t have. It’s why we’re here. But it was costing her too much. Yeah! Which I experienced as very true, because what emerged was not what I wanted to emerge. 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